Why did you take Brice Ramsey out after Malcolm Mitchell said the throw was perfect ?
“Tell Malcolm Mitchell to shut-up.”
Well, all the other passes by Brice Ramsey were perfect too and they were caught. Yet, you yanked him after they knocked the ball out of Malcolm Mitchell’s hand. Why can’t we talk to Brian Schottenheimer about this after these 2 in a row lousy outings by Greyson Lambert ?
“First, let me say, if this is all you are going to do in this interview, I will just leave, ok ? Secondly, this is by design that we placate Brice Ramsey, who I made a deal with like I did DJ Shockley’s Dad in 2001 when I redshirted him too that they would get a stupid series whether other QB is hot right then or not. Got it ? Thirdly, Brian Schottenheimer made his views in public to you press, and I told him I know what the HELL I am doing, and I want my buddy who prays with me to be our QB. Brian Schottenheimer said to me that if I am going to be dictator here and tell everyone else what we can think even, that he would not do interviews anymore. And, I said OK to that.”
Did you really feel that Hutson Mason is NFL caliber ?
“Hutson Mason is great. Yes, I think he is playing in the NFL now, isn’t he ?”
No, coach, he is not. He is on no NFL roster, and never has been. Never will be coach. You know that ?
“No. If I tell the UGA fans he is, they will never remember I said that he is better than Nick Marshall.”
“They’ll never know that.”
“Because I told Nick Marshall he would never be a QB here, only defensive back because I told him Hutson Mason is better than he is.”
The record does not show that. In fact, Nick Marshall was a lot better QB than Hutson Mason.
“Well, they would’ve never known Nick Marshall was a better QB than Hutson Mason if I had had my way. I wouldn’t have let him play QB to find out.”
That’s like Cam Newton Coach ?
“Yes, exactly. See ? I told Cam Newton that he’d never be considered here as a QB, only Tight End here for me.”
You liked your QB instead, rather than Cam Newton ?
But, you went 6-7 with that quarterback and Cam Newton beat the shit out of you by nearly 3 TD while he beat everyone else and won the NC at 14-0 undefeated.
“We do it the right way here, and no one would have ever known he was a better quarterback than little Aaron Murray, if he had accepted my terms and come here to be Tight End because I would never have given him 1 snap under center here, only Tight End.”
You do it the right way ?
“Yeah, I don’t over sign.”
Coach you signed 32 this off-season when the NCAA allows 25 per season.
“Ok, I over sign. That’s true. But, I kick their butts off the team, so I can over sign again the next year, too.”
But, they say you turn your back on them, just when they needed you most.
“We have a stricter drug policy.”
When you kick them off the team, that’s their umpteen violation. All other schools have the same policy for that.
“Aaron Murray was my Favorite, ok? Can we leave it that ?”
You mean like Joe Tereshinski III ?
You told us all that Joe Tereshinski III is a better QB than Matthew Stafford.
“Well I had his dad on my staff.”
So, you prayed with his Dad ?
Willie Martinez ?
“Yes, we prayed together.”
Did God tell him to leave or you did ?
“God told me. I told them.”
So, you are a prophet ?
“God talks to me.”
What else does God tell you, and how come God never talks to any of the rest of us ?
“God told me Joe Cox is better QB than Zach Mettenberger.”
Even with his chronic shoulder ?
“Yes. I had a private charter fly him out there to Okie to be the starting QB that season.”
Even when he had the flu so bad that you had to quarantine him too ? Don’t you think, now, looking back at what this blog writer told you pre-game that you should have played Zach Mettenberger instead, that he should have at least gotten 1 snap spelling Joe Cox. You lost because you did not.
“Joe Cox is better than Zach Mettenberger.”
Joe Cox lost.
“So ? I do not care about won or lost. As long as you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, all is well.”
Zach Mettenberger is in the NFL.
“Joe Cox is in the NFL, isn’t he ?”
No, coach, he isn’t.
“Ok, so I have been wrong 6 times. Is that what you’re telling me ?”
No, coach, I am telling you – you are dumb.
“I have a college degree.”
You are dumb. You are stupid.
“God, tells me I am forgiven for making 6 mistakes so far at UGA at just QB position – picking the wrong one compared to another.”
Coach, you were 81 % win % going into year 5, and only 68 % after 2007. What caused this large discrepancy ?
“The SEC was down when I first got here. Take 2002 for example, ok ? The only other SEC team ranked in the Coaches’ Poll Top 25 besides us was a 4-loss Auburn. Since, the SEC has been great and well truthfully, if I have to tell the TRUTH for once, far better than I EVER will be.”
“Well, maybe they will suck again. Wait until year 2025.”
Coach, what does your Sunday School Class think about all your lies to the press ?
“We have talked about that. I told them that it is OK to lie to the press. The press does not need to know anything and if I lie to the press, they will buy it hook, line and sinker – and, I will get away with it. Then, we all sat down and prayed to God that no one would ever give me any truth serum to make me finally for the first time, tell the truth.”
Coach, in 2001 you said you knocked the lid off the # 11 All-Time Most Wins Program when you beat # 4 vols on the hobnail boot. Can you share how you look at that now please ?
“Well, beating the # 4 vols is great. It was our greatest victory in the history of UGA football.”
But, Coach you lost 4 games that year.
“Well, yeah, but 2nd Corinthians says whatever is good, let your mind dwell on these things.”
Ok, so the 1 win makes up for the fact you lost 4 games ?
“Oh, there’s something more important than winning around here at The University of Georgia.”
Really ? What is that ?
“I am known for being a Christian. That is what defines me. I know I am going to Heaven – no matter how well or how poorly I do here as just a football coach.”
So, you do not want to be just a football Coach ?
“No. That is not what defines me. I do not care about coaching football. What’s important to me is that I lead the players to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, or at least tried to.”
I see. So, you really do not give a rats’ behind about winning ?
“Winning the players over to Jesus, yes. Winning on the football field ? No. That is not what defines me at all.”
Did you take Florida lightly last year as ALL your players said after the game and leading up to it ?
“Tell ALL my players to shut-up about taking Florida lightly.”
Why did you pooch kick-off to Georgie tek yellowjackets to give them the ball at the 43-yard line with 13 ticks on the clock ?
“I was dumb. I should have kicked-off deep.”
Why did you decoy Todd Gurley II at USCe at their 4-line yard, losing by less than a TD, and have a guy who can not run run around until he sees someone free in the end zone, and then pass it through the end zone if nothing is there – when he can not throw the ball that far, either ?
“I was dumb. I should have pounded it with Todd Gurley II.”
So, you have a lot of talent this year, now that he is gone ?
So, you are proud of that, are you ?
“No. I do not care about talent. If the qb will come to me and tell me he accepts Jesus, I will play him more than the others who have not.”
So, that is by Plan ? That is what you do Coach ?
“Sure. That is all I care about.”
What do you say to the we-want-more old-school UGA Program fans who say that you average the # 8 Scout.com recruiting class – same as the 14 NC on your watch have averaged – but are only # 21 won/lost record after 2007 ?
“Well, the coaches on my watch here, have only been at their school 3 1/2 years to win these 14 NC.”
Coaching is getting more from less, Coach.
“That’s the hell not true. I’ve been here for now my 15th season averaging # 8 Scout.com recruiting class, and I get the complete opposite : I get less with more and everyone loves me. I get less from more than any coach ever. Coaching is not getting more with less. That’s as silly as saying that winning is everything and nothing else matters. All I care about is winning the boys over to my Religion – that is ALL that defines me. Tell them that if they want a coach who gets more with less and who thinks winning is everything and nothing else matters, to hire a football coach who is a proven head coach. Again, not to sound like a broken record – but that is not what defines me. My walk with Jesus defines me and NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.”
And, they have been there for 3 1/2 years with avg # 8 Scout.com recruiting class before they won the NC.
“Vince Dooley was here for 17 years before he won his 1st NC here.”
No coach, Vince Dooley won NC in 1966, 1968 and 1980. And, by the same very polls that said Georgie tek yellowjackets are NC their 6 times. UGA has been NC for 6 seasons now, same as Georgie tek yellowjackets.
“So, in 17 years, he had 3 NC ?”
Yes, Vince Dooley won 3 of our 6 NC in his 1st 17 years here and when The SEC was better than 2002-2005 when you won your 2 SEC Championships with 2005 finding you in fact not # 1 in The SEC but # 3 in The SEC in every single poll.
“That’s not what defines me. If that defined me, that I was just a college football coach – that would be disaster.”
Disaster ? It would be a disaster that the word coaching is defined as getting more with less ?
“Coaching is not what I do. Not how I am defined. So, yes, that would be disaster.”
You are defined as having the # 8 Scout.com average recruiting class and # 21 won/lost record after 2007 – getting LESS with MORE. So now what about this brother-in-law of yours ?
“Well, I got him the job here as Chaplain the minute I took this easy gig where the fans believe whatever I tell them to believe.”
Do you feel that is a conflict of interest and nepotism ?
“No. No, I do not. He really is not an employee of The University of Georgia.”
But, you hold GALA banquets raising tons of cash for him, even selling Todd Gurley II autographed actual game-day Jersey ?
So, that is nepotism and conflict of interest and against the Constitution ?
“Not if I tell them it’s not. I am God. If I say it is not against the Constitution, then the fans here will believe me.”
So, you say whatever you want to say then Coach to impose your Will ?
“No. Not my will, but His Will be done. And, my Sunday School class said I am forgiven.”
His Will ?
“Yes, I pray to God and he talks to me and tells me that He wants me to give my brother-in-law a comfortable living too – like I do.”
So, that is why you hold this GALA and stump for his Chaplaincy even using The University of Georgia owned game Jersey, get it signed and sell it for him ?
“You’re catching on now.”
“You want to be on my staff ?”
No. You are spiraling out of control, and I would not work with you long because you would be gone, as your lies are catching up with you now.
“I need to replace my Offensive Coordinator. How about that job?”
I would not be any good at that Coach.
“That’s ok. As long as you kowtow to me and since it’s not really my will but His Will anyway, all is good. The Offensive Coordinator here doesn’t do anything anyway. I make all these plays, every decision, every everything about time-outs, starters, play-calling, pooch kicks – I do it all. I am great. I am God himself warmed over.”
No. Thank you Coach. That does not sound like a job. Be a puppet OC ? You really do it all as OC anyway ? You have quite an ego and are stubborn. Do you feel that is indicative of Christians ?
“Have you been saved ?”
Coach, can we get back to FOOTBALL please ?
“Football is not what defines me.”
I am sensing that.
“That would be a disaster for me to be known just as a Football Coach. Folks might judge me on my coaching ability in football. I really want to go on another mission. When is the season over?”
I think it already is Coach.
“Oh, Goodie. Since I won 9 games like I always do, can I have a raise ?”
Well, you average 9 wins a season.
“That’s pretty good.”
The top teams play 15 games.
“I do not care about that. That is not how I am judged.”
What would you do with a raise ?
“Hire more buddies and pay them under the table so I am surrounded by all yes men, and give the rest to God.”
So, you do not have any money ?
“It’s all God’s money, so no. Not me personally, I do not.”
Do you even know anything about football ?
“I was on the bench. They did not play me.”
I understand too that you were lost. Is that right ?
“Yes, I was brought up all wrong. I was taught lying is ok, and cheating is ok and that I can ignore the U.S. Constitution. I raised a lot of hell. Deep down, that is who I really am still. But, the Good Lord FORGIVES me.”
So, you are not perfect, but forgiven for it ?
“Right. When I tell lies for example, I mutter under my breath : Forgive me Lord.”
And, the Lord tells you it’s ok ?
“The Lord God tells me all is forgiven.”
So, you can do it again ?
“As long as I mutter under my breath : Forgive me Lord. Yes.”
But, you are not doing that now ?
“No. That damn truth serum you gave me is really working overtime.”
What do you say to the millions of folks who say you’ve grown stale and no longer do as well as when you first got here Coach ?
“Tell them to shut-up.”
“Are they a fan of this football program, or aren’t they ?”
Well, I think they might want something more, you know ?
“Get to the Georgia Dome?”
That’s your goal is it ?
“Yes. Get there and I have done my job.”
You have a losing record there.
“I have a losing record at that damn Gator Bowl too.”
Yes, you are 5-9 vs Florida.
“But, we are at a disadvantage down there.”
You think it should be moved ?
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
You’d like this job to remain a cushy job for you and no one have high expectations ?
“We’ve got a ton of great talent.”
Well, yeah, that’s my point. But, you are not doing well they all say.
“Tell them to shut-up.”
Tell them to just wait ?
“Yeah, wait until next year when I can fix this with the # 2 best QB nationally coming here again.”
But, you lose 20 seniors – nearly all of them starters.
“Yeah, but if I make everyone so miserable about our QB this year, all they will talk about all off-season and later this year when we’re out of it again, is the # 2 best QB coming-in.”
Control what they think about ?
“I think that’s what we’re discussing. Isn’t it?”
You are the head coach.
“Damn right I am.”
“Oh, excuse me. Tell my Sunday School Class I said darn right I am.”
No, Coach, I have to tell the Truth.
“Maybe, you do.”
You don’t ?
“God Forgives me, so no.”
Who you going to lose to this year Coach ?
“Until I do, no one.”
But, they all KNOW you will.
See what coach ?
“What a cushy damn job I have.”
Coach, this is Georgia.
“As long as I recruit great football players, they will be satisfied.”
I think that since this is Georgia where you have no in-state competition for the recruits yet have the 4th best talent pool in the nation here, that they know they can recruit these guys no matter who is coach ?
“That’s why I came here.”
For the talent ?
But, coach you have averaged more than 4 losses a season for the latest 7 years now.
“I have won a lot of games too, Grace Be to God.”
We play more games now than the older coaches, and there are not any coaches left who are still there at their job after 14 years, except for 5. What do you mean you’re 5th best of coaches who’ve been there 14 years ?
“So ? I’ve still got the 5th best record of coaches that have been there at their school at least 14 years.”
There are only 5 coaches who have been there that long, period Coach. Let me ask you this, do you know who the best QB is ?
“No. But, Brian Schottenheimer does. He went to the press and told you how much he hates game manager. I told him that he would not be allowed to tell you that anymore. That I love nothing better than a game manager. Hell, we might have a screaming good team and then all you press would be all over me to repeat that every year, if I were to play a play-maker NFL type QB instead of my game manager buddy. He prays with me, you know ?”
I had heard that. So, when you told the press last week that Brian Schottenheimer wants Greyson Lambert too, you were lying ?
“So ? God says I am forgiven. I asked him. And, I told Brian Schottenheimer to shut-the-hell up about it.”
Ok, so what is your record against teams who made the Top 10 any year after 2007 ?
“16 games, 2 wins.”
What is your record against teams who made the Top 25 on the road after 2007 ?
“11 games, same 2 wins.”
Your record against teams who played in a bowl game the season you played them after 2007 ?
That’s good ?
“It’s better than bad.”
But, you’ve also lost some games to teams after 2007 who were not ranked ?
“10 so far. I avoided the eleventh Saturday.”
You’ve lost to 10 teams after 2007 who were not ranked for season or for game in AP or Coaches ?
“Yes, so what?”
Sorry Coach. This is now the 3rd longest stretch of no SEC Championship in UGA history.
“I win a lot of games on the road I am told. And, I have a lot of talent.”
You have won only 6 away from Sanford of 21 games after 2007 who made the Top 25 that year.
You have had now 86 NFL Draft Picks.
“Yes, so ?”
So with all this talent you finally admit that your record actually in fact sucks, given the talent here ?
“I see your frustration. I understand your frustration. I wasn’t born yesterday. I’ve coached football for 25 years so I know what the hell I’m doing, ok ?”
But, you lose.
“My identity is in Christ. That gives me peace no matter what happens here.”
Do you feel you’re getting the job done here now Coach with all this talent ?
“I have had some inexplicable losses.”
You had 3 of those in just the most recent season.
“So ? That is all behind us now. Everything is great now.”
You’ve lost 21 of the latest 24 games against teams higher ranked than you for the season after 2007.
“So ? I’ve lost 23 of the latest 34 games against teams who made the Top 25 that season.”
That’s my point.
“We have a great recruiting class coming in.”
Well, yeah, you have a ton of talent as you say coach. That is my point.
“Wait until next year.”
So, you are giving up on this year ?
“Don’t print this, but I have done so much that I can keep this gig no matter what I do this year, so I am screwing it up – writing it off.”
You feel this job is that cushy, that you can have yet another throw-away year ?
“Are you trying to say Religion is the problem here ?”
Well, something is the problem here. What do you think it is ?
“I have been unlucky.”
God believes in luck ?
You really believe that ?
“Sure, I do. We’ll get lucky and get a bowl game against the # 1 team some day.”
You’ll get the shit kicked out of you.
“I gave that part up of my job. I am CEO now. I don’t do that. That’s not my job. And, I am forgiven. God told me that again just this morning – that I am forgiven. Anyway, that is not what I am all about. It is not what defines me. I am forgiven because Jesus Christ died on the Cross for me, and washed away ALL MY SINS. I am born again. I am forgiven for that loss too then, ok ? I am at peace whatever the hell happens here in football at Georgia.”
You are full of shit Coach.
“I am forgiven. So, just shut-up, ok ?”
Why is it you feel you must control what everyone thinks, even, Coach ? Why can’t there be transparency about your answers to the press ?
“I am sick and tired of these press meetings where you give me no respect. I came here to talk about what I want you to know, what I say to you, and you are insisting that I answer questions about secrets that I do not want to disclose the answers to you about, because it makes me look bad as a coach.”